Citrine

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It’s a gem with the metaphysical essences of positive energy, creativity, and clarity. It’s called the sunshine stone, because it is the color of Amalfi Coast lemons, a fruit that grows in one of the most beautiful and sunny places in the Mediterranean (Can’t you just visualize this color perfectly in your mind?). 

I love the physical feel of it as well. My citrine pendant is weighty and pulls the silver chain down past my heart. You can’t miss it when I put it on. It bumps against my chest as I walk down the street. It dangles precariously if I bend over. It’s not the kind of necklace I can wear every day; I only don it when I want to make a statement, or want to manifest something. 

I manifested something big this year. 

Creativity and Clarity

Before this summer, I’d been contracted as an editor at Nike for four and a half years. My journey in getting there was a bumpy one. When I was hired, I had been unemployed for seven months. I was desperate. 

I’d be lying if I said I’d gotten the job with my one-of-a-kind resume and starlet vibe. To be completely frank, I never thought I’d get it, so rather than trying to be who I thought they wanted, I just laid it all out to them straight, no fluff. Luckily, the hiring panel mistook my exhaustion and no-fucks-left-to-give attitude for confidence. To this day, the director who hired me says I gave one of the best interviews she’s ever had. It makes me giggle every time she says that, because I remember just being authentically Becky.

After 4 years editing categories that ranged from soccer to kids to equipment, I felt myself yearning to grow in a way that being a product editor wasn’t fulfilling any longer. For as long as I could, I stretched myself within the boundaries of my job. I created a popular writing workshop; I focused on new strategies and honed in on tone of voice. But it wasn’t enough. I had started looking for other opportunities when my team restructured and a job opened up on the leadership side. 

The new role was a hybrid one, a mix of management and operations. I didn’t have the managing experience. I didn’t what Tableau or MySQL were for. But what I did have was the institutional knowledge of my company, strong trust with my team members, and the hunger to learn new skills.

I was extremely nervous about the thought of moving so far away from creative work, but I knew there was a ceiling in my current role, and I figured that continuing to work amongst the other creatives would keep that thread connected. So I took the leap, interviewed, and got the job. It’s been six months and I feel like I’m challenged every single day (If you know a cheat code to figuring out vlookups, let me know!). I’m finding power in places I thought I’d be weak, and wisdom that I didn’t know I had. I’m discovering a whole new mode of creativity and an appreciation for time. I’ve never been so efficient! 

Positive Energy

When I think of the color of citrine, I think of sunshine days and joyful moments that make me smile. 

But there’s something else about citrine that makes me smile. Natural citrine is formed by the gradual heating of amethyst under high temperatures in the Earth’s crust. And as many of you know, I have a twin sister, Sarah. She’s always loved purple. Amethyst is the perfect stone for her.

As with amethyst and citrine, we have a symbiotic relationship—we just didn’t realize it until we went to different colleges and understood how much we actually needed each other. And, ironically, after I moved across the country, we grew even closer. 

Growing up, Sarah and I weren’t the “best friend” kind of twins that people expected. We had a lot of “high temperatures” and pressurized situations of our own. All throughout middle and high school, we made it a point to avoid running in the same crowds, played disparate sports, and spent our time in vastly different ways. 

Now when I think of Sarah, I recognize that she is truly my other half. We never needed to be the same; we complement each other. We don’t feel each other’s pain or think the same thoughts, but we do have a remarkable amount of synergistic events in our lives. Most recently? She also got a new job managing people for the first time. It’s a wonderful thing to be able to talk to her about all the wins and trials that come across my desk each day. I hope she knows that I’ll always be her sunshine when she needs it. 

Most people don’t have a twin to be their other half, but everyone can find the special people who complete their lives the way amethyst and citrine do. 

I’d love to hear about your own “amethyst” and what makes them your symbiotic stone. 


6 responses to “Citrine”

  1. Colin Avatar
    Colin

    Love this. Love you. So happy for you and feeling inspired.

    1. beckydancer Avatar
      beckydancer

      Thank you, Colin! I’d love to have a writing date and catch-up soon!

  2. Sara Avatar

    I love how you reflect on the twin properties of citrine and amethyst! It’s such a lovely metaphor for your sister relationship and helps us understand you both on a new level.

    1. beckydancer Avatar
      beckydancer

      Thank you, Sara! I’m really enjoying this writing track with the crystals.

  3. Kerani Avatar
    Kerani

    “It’s called the sunshine stone, because it is the color of Amalfi Coast lemons.” I feel like I can taste the citrusy sunshine in this line 💛 I love that thought of how citrine and amethyst are related but not the same. I think in someways I’m both my own amethyst and citrine – I have a bubbly sunshine side and a more moody clairvoyant side. But this also makes me think of the people I surround myself with. You are definitely a citrine stone yourself and it makes being around you so joyful. P.s. hit me up if you want help with those vlookups!

    1. beckydancer Avatar
      beckydancer

      🍋🍋🍋 your comment made me smile with the power of 1000 Amalfi coast lemons!

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