Oh, Pandora.
As I listen to Counting Crows’ Long December on my Pandora app, a Christian Mingle ad pops up, and I have to laugh at the irony.
I haven’t posted about anything really personal in a while. I know you’re missing my normal onslaught of online dating stories and woes. Until recently, I was starting to think that part of my life had finally set sail.
I met someone I connected with. We had so much in common—our love of the Blazers, of running, of being childishly, ecstatically nervous around each other. Terrified butterflies were ninja-fighting in my tummy every time I walked out the door to meet him.
We were so alike but so different.
Then, the talk. We had differences, yes. Major ones? Oh yes. Stomach-curdling, I-don’t-want-to-talk-about-it differences. The distinction between compatible or not came down to one word: religion.
That was it. None of our chemistry, our smiles, our kisses, our electricity, mattered. We couldn’t find a middle ground. How is it possible that two people with such a connection could find the one giant elephant-in-the-room issue that so easily broke us apart? What was the purpose of our meeting?
When the ice shattered, it didn’t leave anything intact, but all the pieces were still there. We could still feel each other but we couldn’t see each other. We could hold hands but we knew the mountains would move between us soon enough, cutting the rope that made us an “us.” It was done.
But we must move on. That’s how life works. Failure is a teacher. It may be a bitch, it may take things away, but it shows us what could be.
And sure, it can be a bitch, but it can also be a fairy godmother; it gifts us possibilities. And now I know that real love IS possible.
beckydancer
11 thoughts on “Possibilities”
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Angela Piller
Shoot! Sorry to hear it. But it’s important to be true to yourself.
beckydancer
Yeah, it kinda seems like I always learn the hard way, but at least I’m learning, right?
kathleen
better to know than to sacrifice your true self in exchange for a man.
beckydancer
Absolutely.
JenJen
Wise words and I love you to my dear! You never know the what’s or the why’s of the universe but your truth is painfully beautiful and very strong! A Me-mo-sexual first and for most 🙂
beckydancer
Thanks for the love!! I’m glad I have so many amazing people in my life. Makes the pain a lot easier to deal with.
Melinda Ott
Sorry to hear this…I’ve been there as well. I wish I could offer some deep words of solace or advice, but all I can say is I’m sorry!
beckydancer
It does make it a little easier knowing that there are people who understand exactly how I feel and are there to listen. 🙂
Allison Bailey
I love you. You are always so brave and knowing!! I am glad that you never settle and that you believe in great love and know that the first and most important great love is the one that you share with yourself! xoxo
beckydancer
I am not sure how much I actually “know,” but I do acknowledge that I will never stop striving for the best Becky I can be. And that means not settling for someone, however awesome he may be, who isn’t a good match for me. 🙂
beckydancer
And brave?? I’ll take it! Thanks A!